A CONVERSATION BETWEEN A FATHER AND SON

May: My son am tired.
June: Why?
May: My time is up, i will be going to join your forefathers.
June: I know, you had time, but not enough to be with you... I will miss you Dad.
May: Let me tell you some things before i go,Make sure you take care of this person
June: Who?
May: The person READING this conversation of ours
June: Okay.
May: i made some promises to this person during my reign, i fulfilled some, and couldn't
June: But why couldn't you fulfill all Dad?
May: Well, my son time and human factors affected some of the promises.....
June: But....
May: But surely, I spoke with God on this person's behalf, and God granted my wish that you may fulfill the rest promises that i couldn't. So these are the rest of the fulfillment you will carry out on this person.
June: Go on Dad 
May: Stabilise this person's health all through your reign, there shall be no sickness! Oppen a direct link   between God and this person.
June: Done, carry on Dad


May: Ensure that this person's wish comes to reality within the shortest period of time
June: Alright
May: Give this person wealth that will touch lives of multitudes.
June: Surely
May: Make sure that you remove all remaining hindrances to success from this person's way and make the year a huge success.
June: I will dad, no problem 
May: Pay more emphasis on the advice of his person's friends, don't worry about this 
June: Got it
May: Now i can pass to the beyond happily, May you be prosperous!!!

HAPPY NEW MONTH FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Drunkard joke

*** LAUGH MAKE YOU SELF GO PISS FOR INSIDE FRIDGE JOOR ***
HUSBAND; My dear, its like the light
in the toilet is now automatic!
WIFE; Wat happened?
HUSBAND; When i opened the
door
the light came on and after i
urinated and close the door the
light went off!
WIFE; Drunk Idiot,Ologogoro .. you
have gone to urinate in the
FRIDGE
again. LWKMD. I beg Tag 5 friend wey sabi laff and piss for inside fridge

Funny jokes

5 people named Crazy, Mad, Sun, Fool and Imposible were living in the same house. On a certain afternoon, Sun came home and rushed to thekitchen to prepare some lunch since it was his duty. Imposible was bathing in the shower, Crazy was just relaxing inthe living room butMad and Fool had gone outside to do some house shopping. After he finishedcooking , Sun left the gas running without noticing. After sometime, the whole kitchen was on fire! Crazy decided to call the police:-
Crazy: Hallo? is that the police station?
Police: Yes pliz, how can we help you?
Crazy: We need your help immediately, our house was accidentally set on fire by Sun!
Police: Set on fire by sun? thats imposible!
Crazy: No! its not him, he wasjust having a shower when all this took place!
Police: Are you mad?
Crazy: No! Mad has gone to the market to do some shopping...
Police: Dont be a fool!
Crazy: I swear am not Fool! he went out to the market with mad...
Police: Hey man, you must be crazy!
Crazy: Yeah exactly! thats me. pliz do something immediately and help us put off this fire!
Police: xxxHANGS UP THE CALLxxx

Parking space joke

Before going to Dubai on business, a man drives his Rolls-Royce
to one of the leading banks in Lagos and asks for an immediate
loan of N150,000. The loan officer,taken aback, requests
collateral. "Well then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce," the
man says. The loan officer promptly ask the car driven into the
bank's underground parking for safe keeping and gives the man
the N150,000. Two weeks later, the man walks through the bank's
doors and asks to settle up his loan and get his car back."That will
be N150,000 in principal, andN1,250 in interest," the loan officer
says. The man writes out a cheque and starts to walk away."Wait,
sir," the loan officer says."You area millionaire. Why in the world
would you need to borrow N150,000?" The man smiles,"Where
else could I find a safer placeto park my Rolls-Royce in Lagos for
two weeks and pay only N1,250?"

Jokes.. The madman and the pilot

A pilot was transporting a bunch of madmen from
Lagos to a psychiatric facility in Johannesburg,
South Africa.
The madmen were making noise.
So, one of them entered the Pilot's Cabin;
MADMAN: Teach me how to flya plane!
PILOT: I would, but under onecondition.
MADMAN: What?
PILOT: If you can get your colleagues to keep
quiet.
(5 minutes later, the plane was very quiet!
PILOT: Wow!! How did you get them to keep
quiet?
MADMAN: I opened the door and asked them to
go and play outside!!